I know, I know, I've heard all the arguments: Abortion stops a beating heart. It's a child, not a choice. Every life is precious. Well, I don't care what the pro-lifers say... I am totally psyched for this abortion! Like I said, my decision to terminate my pregnancy isn't for lack of hearing the opposing view. I'm exposed to pro-life messages all the time—on billboards, in magazines and on television. And I certainly didn't miss that angry crowd of picketers shouting at me as I was happily skipping to the women's health clinic to make the appointment for my big day. Those pro-life activists made it pretty clear that, unlike me, they actually think abortion is bad and to be avoided. Are they nuts? Abortion is the best!
As I pushed my way through the crowd, one of the picketers yelled, "How could you do this? How could you kill a child?" What? It's more like, "How could I wait this long?" It wasn't until now that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with a child I had no means to support. I tell you, for a long time, I thought it would never happen to me!
So, to all of you pro-lifers who are trying to rain on my parade, keep it to yourself, because I don't have the time for that kind of negativity. I've got an abortion to plan, and I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!
The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity. If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place. Then what would I be doing a week from Thursday? I'll tell you what I wouldn't be doing: going to an awesome abortion clinic where I'll be the center of attention from the minute I put my feet up in those stirrups. I wouldn't be looking forward to induced dilation of my cervical opening and suctioning of my uterus, either. And I sure as heck wouldn't get the chance to have a doctor insert a metal instrument into my womb to dislodge tissue from my uterine wall!
I seriously cannot wait for all the bleeding and the uterine contractions. This abortion is going to be so amazing. I'm definitely taking lots of pictures so I can remember every last detail of the whole experience for years to come and share my great memories with all of my friends, and family. What an easy decision this was!
As I pushed my way through the crowd, one of the picketers yelled, "How could you do this? How could you kill a child?" What? It's more like, "How could I wait this long?" It wasn't until now that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with a child I had no means to support. I tell you, for a long time, I thought it would never happen to me!
So, to all of you pro-lifers who are trying to rain on my parade, keep it to yourself, because I don't have the time for that kind of negativity. I've got an abortion to plan, and I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!
The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity. If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place. Then what would I be doing a week from Thursday? I'll tell you what I wouldn't be doing: going to an awesome abortion clinic where I'll be the center of attention from the minute I put my feet up in those stirrups. I wouldn't be looking forward to induced dilation of my cervical opening and suctioning of my uterus, either. And I sure as heck wouldn't get the chance to have a doctor insert a metal instrument into my womb to dislodge tissue from my uterine wall!
I seriously cannot wait for all the bleeding and the uterine contractions. This abortion is going to be so amazing. I'm definitely taking lots of pictures so I can remember every last detail of the whole experience for years to come and share my great memories with all of my friends, and family. What an easy decision this was!
Satire Reflection
The reason why I have chosen this topic is because there is a lot of controversy on the topic of abortion. I understand it's the person's choice to terminate the pregnancy, but in my opinion it is rather in-humane to just kill a living creature.
The audience of my satire is teenager and young adults who have had unplanned pregnancies. I chose to do an article because I thought it would be the best way to reach out to people to get their attention on this serious topic.
This is a satire because it is making fun of the topic of abortion. The reason I know that it’s a satire because a satire is the use of humor to bring attention to a serious subject.
" I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever! " this sentence is consider ironic because if the surgery is non-anesthetized it will mean it will be painful and pain isn't supposed to be enjoyable.
"I seriously cannot wait for all the bleeding and the uterine contractions." this is an ironic statement, because nobody wants to actually bleed and have contractions in the uterus.
" I'm definitely taking lots of pictures so I can remember every last detail of the whole experience for years to come and share my great memories with all of my friends, and family" this is an example of a pun. This is a pun because you can't take pictures of an actual abortion literally.
The audience of my satire is teenager and young adults who have had unplanned pregnancies. I chose to do an article because I thought it would be the best way to reach out to people to get their attention on this serious topic.
This is a satire because it is making fun of the topic of abortion. The reason I know that it’s a satire because a satire is the use of humor to bring attention to a serious subject.
" I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever! " this sentence is consider ironic because if the surgery is non-anesthetized it will mean it will be painful and pain isn't supposed to be enjoyable.
"I seriously cannot wait for all the bleeding and the uterine contractions." this is an ironic statement, because nobody wants to actually bleed and have contractions in the uterus.
" I'm definitely taking lots of pictures so I can remember every last detail of the whole experience for years to come and share my great memories with all of my friends, and family" this is an example of a pun. This is a pun because you can't take pictures of an actual abortion literally.